Prayers and advice

[dverna]

A while back I asked for prayers for the family of my fiancés daughter. The husband’s cancer is untreatable and hospice was there yesterday. This was the family that lost their 4 year old daughter four years ago.

There is an 11 year old boy, and this much crap would be tough enough for an adult to deal with.

They cannot afford their house on her earnings and I have offered a safety net. They can come live with us for a period of time. She is smart but never advanced her education after high school. My hope is that with living expenses covered, she could attend a community college and find a career that will allow her to support herself down the road. She currently drives a bus for the school. I also believe the boy needs a father figure and I can help out.

Any advice will be very appreciated. This is not what I planned for retirement but I feel moved to help.

[cabezaverde]

No advice from me. Prayers for sure. You are a good man.

[Texas by God]

You stepped up like a good man does.
You and yours have our prayers.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Der Gebirgsjager]

It sounds like you don't really need any advice. You perceive a need and have a plan. I will pray for your situation.

DG

[exile]

Praying.

exile

[rancher1913]

my wife felt the same way about a couple that "just needed to get back on their feet" and we rented them our guest house, they took advantage of us big time until i put my foot down and evicted them, we just barely made it through that. you have a good hart and sometimes a person can make a difference in another's life but as harsh as this sounds, put everything in writing and protect your assets that you may need for your own needs down the road. sometimes the road to hell is paved with good intentions. this will really sound harsh but dont ever be alone with the mother or kid if you see or feel any red flags popping up, its real easy to cry rape and real hard to defend your honor against it. i truly wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my thoughts and payers.

[Finster101]

Please use caution Don. My experience lies more along the lines of rancher1913.

[dverna]

Good advice rancher and Finster.

I was going to charge her $50/mo to cover added power and heat for the area they will be using. I do not need the money, but wanted her to feel like she is contributing, and it is not all charity. But it might be better to tell her they are "house guests". If things go south, they need to leave when I say.

[greybuff]

Praying for wisdom and guidance. Be careful.

[GhostHawk]

Don you have a big heart brother.

Let me know if you need help.

[Murphy]

Prayers for Gods guidance and the best of outcomes.

Murphy

[tommag]

Good advice rancher and Finster.

I was going to charge her $50/mo to cover added power and heat for the area they will be using. I do not need the money, but wanted her to feel like she is contributing, and it is not all charity. But it might be better to tell her they are "house guests". If things go south, they need to leave when I say.

I don't know what it's like in Michigan but here in Washington more than 48 hours gives them resident status regardless of the particulars. It defies logic, but they have "renters rights" and have to be legally evicted if they don't want to go. Good luck. I applaud your efforts.

[rancher1913]

one other concern that occurred to me, what if the mother gets attached to a crackhead new boyfriend and moves him in with herself.

[HWooldridge]

It all depends on the woman's character - which none of us can know; you are the one closest to the situation and the people who are involved.

My second son's girlfriend was thrown out of her house by her divorced mom when she was 17. We had an extra bedroom at the time, so my wife and I thought long and hard about letting her move in with us (my son was already in his first year of college). We still had two teenaged boys at home and all sorts of scenarios went through our minds. She asked for $2000 to help buy a car for transport to school and work - I loaned it to her, interest free. Much to my surprise, she paid me back with interest inside of a year, finished high school then went to nursing school. Her parents went to the graduation ceremony and shook my hand after she received her diploma - of course, neither one of them had the gumption to help her when she needed it.

My son and Amanda eventually broke up and moved on to other relationships but today, at 37 years old, she is a successful wife, mother and well paid medical professional. Any number of other bad endings could have happened - but in the end, she had the drive to make it happen with a little help when she was struggling.

I think you can do a lot of good in this situation but keep your eyes open and watch everything as it develops.

[Rickf1985]

As much as I hate the Go-Fund me thing there are times when it actually works for the good, This seems to be one of those times. Amazing how many people will help out if the see a need.

[Markopolo]

I would say, follow your heart Don.

[dverna]

I knew I would get great advice and food for thought from you guys. You have not disappointed!!!

HW, my fiancé daughters name is also Amanda. What are the odds of that?

[Shuz]

Don, my prayers are with you in this situation.

[Shawlerbrook]

Don, it sounds like you have the situation under control, so I will just offer prayers from Central NYS.

[elmacgyver0]

Good luck Don, ditto to what Shawlerbrook said, only my prayers are from IA.